As I sit down to write this, I’m not even sure where to begin.
I feel like there’s been SO much happening on a personal and spiritual level, and that I’m finally ready to start sharing this part of the journey and process I’ve been going through.
I feel like I’ve been in a cocoon, going through the inner transformation and in writing this message I’m taking that last step and spreading my wings into a butterfly.
The biggest theme that has come up over and over again for me in recent months has been understanding who I truly am. And to me it sounds a bit weird because on one hand I feel like I know SO MUCH about myself, but at the same time I feel like I don’t.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from this journey is that we are CONSTANTLY growing, changing and evolving. We are constantly being asked to step into a greater form of our self expression. A greater expression of our truth and light. And THIS is where I feel I’ve been most challenged recently.
The question that has come up over and over again is, “What does the full self-expression of who I am look like?”.
Who do I desire to be?
Who am I meant to be?
Looking back over the last couple of years, I realized recently that I now find myself standing exactly where I wished and desired I could be all those years ago. So now that I’m here, where do I go next? This has been the energy surrounding me the last few months. And although I can see that now, I didn’t always recognize that!
Funny how clear our perspective is when we look back.
But in those moments when I was in the thick of the rediscovery process, I had no clue what was going on or what I was even supposed to be looking for. I didn’t even realize that expansion into my own self-expression was what I was being guided towards.
The way I discovered that this was happening was when holding onto my “old identity” was no longer working for me. It resulted in challenges coming up, and feeling like there were certain things that were “falling apart” in my life.
Now when it all first started happening a few months back, I didn’t immediately recognize it as me still holding onto some old part of me that I needed to let go. There were a few times actually where I was putting the blame on the Universe and saying “why are you putting me through this?!”.
But like any situation that we face, I recognized that I had to take responsibility for what was going on and see the higher truth of the situation. I had to let go of my ego’s thoughts and expectations of how things “should” be, and become more aware of what these situations were trying to teach me.
Well, the truth is that they were teaching me where I was holding myself back, where I was still holding onto fear, where I wasn’t feel worthy or good enough.
I was being shown the aspects of my “old self” that were no longer in alignment with the energy and environment I was desiring to create around me, and yet I was still (subconsciously) holding onto those parts of me like I was holding on for dear life.
The thing that I recognized through my personal experience is that this shedding of the old self and reintegration of the light that was being hidden within me is NOT a walk in the park. As you’re going through the process, it can feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. There were some days where I woke up and I didn’t want to do anything but go back to sleep.
So what do you do if you feel like you’re stuck in the thick of it and it feels tremendously hard to keep going?
You keep placing one foot in front of the other. You keep remembering that this moment in time is only temporary. You keep leaning into the strength and support of the angels. And you KEEP GOING.
It’s important to trust in the process.
The reason why it feels so difficult is because you’re letting go of a part of you that has become SO familiar and so comfortable, and you have yet to fully integrate the greater embodiment of your true self. So there’s moments where you feel like you’re stuck in limbo because you JUST want to be on the other side already!!!
What I can say is that patience and trust is a MUST in these situations.
Because eventually you DO get to the other side (the angels are always supporting this and guiding us towards it), and you realize how every moment and every situation IS truly supported and guided. You recognize how you HAD to go through those difficult challenges in order to be more connected, be stronger and more aware of your true self.
What happened for me was that I realized that there was a “new” part of me that was ready to emerge.
It’s like I’d been hiding some aspects of my true self, that were calling to be expressed and shared, but that weren’t because of all of the layers of false beliefs and fears that were covering it up.
This process isn’t an overnight thing either.
The “breakdown” of my old self spanned a couple of months, then came the deep healing and releasing, which was about another month’s worth of time, then the rediscovery of a new way of being and the light that is within (another month of time), and then of course is the emergence and embodiment of that light, which is where I am now.
I recognize that this “new” part isn’t really new at all. It might feel new because it has never been fully expressed, but it’s a light that has been within me all along. I’m excited to step out into this new phase, a more full expression of my true self.
For me, the biggest shift that happened with this is a renewed sense of total love and self-acceptance. I was reminded of how important it is to truly love and value your own self. How to recognize the powerful light that you hold. And how to bring that forth into the world.
What I’ve been feeling is that I want to SHARE more. There’s just this passion, this energy of love and light within me that feels like it’s bursting to be expressed.
And this is a very welcome change because a few months back, it felt like that burst of creative energy was running dry.
So I’m not exactly sure HOW it’s all supposed to look like, but I know how it feels because it’s the feelings that have been showing up for me recently.
It’s a feeling of PURPOSE, determination, authenticity and just being the truest, realest version of me.
It feels good. It feels freeing. It feels deeply connected. And it feels impactful.
My commitment to you is to share every moment, every inspiring thought and every lesson that I learn along the way.
Thank you so much for being a part of my journey, for taking the time to read this post and for your continuous support and love!
Life is all about the journey unfolding and not about the destination. So enjoy the ride and remember how powerful and loved you always are.
PS. I just launched a BRAND NEW 12-WEEK PROGRAM that is all about helping you to embody the full self-expression of your soul!!! We start on May 9th! Check out all the details by clicking here.