4. Stop Resisting

Flashback to 2015 - when I had somehow stumbled upon a YouTube video that talked about the calling for lightworkers to come forward to share their truth and light. This video also mentioned the spiritual awakening that is currently unfolding in the world and how we are all being guided to come back to our connection to divine love and inner spiritual being.

I will never forget the chills I experienced and probably one of the biggest “lightbulb moments” in my life. That was the moment that I knew I was meant to be a spiritual teacher. It’s like something finally clicked and my questions about creating freedom in my life and a deeper connection to my soul were finally answered.

Prior to that moment, I was already dreaming of writing books and public speaking. And now, with this newfound clarity, I knew exactly the expression that my soul was desiring to bring forward.

Fast forward through the next couple of years as I discovered my spiritual connection, and my ability to channel the angels. At the beginning of 2017, this ultimately led me to pivot my struggling nutrition business into an online brand geared towards teaching about angels, sharing channeled messages, facilitating energy healing and helping people develop their own healing abilities. Over the next several years, I developed programs, taught workshops and created a hub of online education and mentorship. This was absolutely incredible and a dream come true.

But somewhere along the way, I had lost touch with the bigger vision of writing books and speaking to audiences. That desire was still there, however instead of actively working towards it and making it my reality, it became a “someday” dream. I would say to myself, “well someday I’m going to write and publish a book”, “someday I’m going to be speaking in person”, “someday…”.

Thinking about this now in retrospect, I can see how easy it is to settle for something that is working very well and to keep the bigger vision or desires somewhere out in the future. I can also see how I continued to perpetuate that narrative, giving myself excuses as to why I couldn’t do it now and instead wait for the perfect moment to start building towards those bigger dreams.

When we find ourselves in situations that are good and comfortable, it’s very easy for our mind to convince us to stay there. It’s usually when there’s just enough of a challenge that it justifies having an experience of growth, but not so much of a challenge that the ego feels too far outside of its comfort zone. After all these years, I had inadvertently created such a space for myself.

So it wasn’t until I had reached this breakdown moment (refer to Chapter 3) a few months after the birth of my daughter that it finally hit me - I had been resisting my soul’s bigger vision and mission. And it was a sneaky, not-so-obvious type of resistance because it’s not like I wasn’t still desiring those things. I had simply come up with a very convenient reason as to why it wasn’t happening yet, and also had an excuse for me to wait for the right time.

What I’ve learned is that there will never be a “right time”. Instead, we have to create that time. We have to commit to that time. And when we do, things miraculously rearrange around us to support it all happening, all at the same time.

Except that is much easier said than done. So when I realized that I had this third path available to me, the first thing I had to do was recognize that I was being called forward to truly commit to the bigger dreams and vision that God had in store for me. In doing so, I was faced with the block that had kept me from this in the first place.

And that was - being seen.

Again, this was a sneaky, not-so-obvious block because I technically was already being seen (a lot). I had been posting weekly videos for the last 6 years. I was writing posts and newsletters. I was going through the motions and doing everything I was supposed to do to maintain things as they were. 

Except that it wasn’t working for me anymore and I could feel how I was being called forward into a deeper commitment with my soul’s divine calling and mission. 

I had gotten comfortable hiding behind the idea of what the angels were saying, instead of showing up fully in me and who I am. To share what I was saying. To tell stories of my own journey and what I was going through.

This was where I wasn’t being seen and I could finally understand where my breakdown and feelings of being stuck stemmed from. 

Now I had to choose: would I try to find a workaround and still try to fit inside my old world that I had built? Or would I take the leap into the unknown and pursue the big vision and dream that had landed on my heart all those years ago?

This time I chose the latter. I chose for myself to be seen more fully. To be expressed more clearly. To be felt more deeply. 

This was when I heard God say: write your story. 

This was when the idea of this “Awakened” series was first born, along with a few other creative projects that are now in the works and will be revealed in due time. 

And in this time I realized something incredibly powerful about our connection to the divine and how we get to experience life through the expression of our soul. 

This was a revelation that I knew I was meant to teach. 

Stay tuned for Chapter 5 - Peace At Last.

Comment below: Where have you been called forward to move into commitment with a greater soul calling?